I may not be falling asleep half way through my bottle of Bintang, but I am certainly ready to leave the strange world of Legian and return to fresh air, peace and my husband. We have been staying at the Jayakarta; a hotel favourite with Australian package tourists and holidaying Javanese Muslims. This makes for interesting and disturbing people watching at breakfast. Each morning when I do my laps in the pool, the hijab clad women are ready with their cameras to capture the risqué excitement of a bikini. The disheveled Aussie’s appear for their fry-ups and bad coffee, sporting the unofficial unisex uniform of boardies and a Bintang singlet, or the strapless elastic rouged dress and braided hair. Oh my god, I may not be uber chic, but please…don’t get me started.